Cause for Concern
by OrangeShipper
Summary: Mary's only wish was for him not to worry, but what use was that when he was already worried? As well as she can, she puts his concerns to rest. 3x08 missing scene spec.


A/N: _As sweet as all the fluff was that 3x08 provided, and the resolution of M/M's baby woes, I couldn't help feeling their tearoom conversation woefully inadequate at properly resolving it between them! We had a powercut last night and I wrote this, and I'm not at all sure it's adequate either but at least it's a little more! For the record, I think that Mary had (and must have) already assured Matthew of her health, even in the cafe, backed up by the doctor's seal of health._

_Thanks to EOlivet for her polish and support!  
_

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**Cause for Concern**

As Mary savoured the last few comforting sips of her tea, she returned Matthew's gentle smile slowly replaced the china cup. He was right, it had bucked her up, and now she almost dreaded leaving… because she knew that half smile, and knew that he was biding his time, or giving her time, but that… he was not yet content to let it rest. Not quite. Could she blame him, really? She wasn't honestly sure, but perhaps that was all the more reason for her discomfort.

"What were your plans?" Matthew asked as she took his arm again, exiting the warmth of the tearoom. "Had you… been going to go straight back to Downton, or had you a hotel?"

"No, straight back," she answered him, watching the pavement beneath her feet.

He nodded. "Well, that train will have gone now, anyway. You might as well see the others and we can all go back together – it seems silly to hide you away from them now."

"Matthew," she began, her hand on his arm.

"Don't worry, there's no need to tell them. We'll think of something."

He glanced to his side and smiled at her, and she considered as they walked side by side just how nice it was, to share a little secret together.

It might almost have been forgotten, as they travelled back to Downton and then to the Abbey, but Mary knew her husband and knew that it could not be for long. Still; she appreciated that he brought it up quietly, when he did, and in the privacy and security of their bedroom once Anna had left.

"Darling, I just want to understand… Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, easing into a chair as she distractedly rubbed her handcream in.

She held back her sigh. "I didn't want you to worry," she shrugged, twisting on the stool to face him. "There was no need for it. I found out what was the matter, and it was to be resolved, without you needing to fret over it – because you would, darling–"

"Of course I would!" Matthew bristled. "You had an operation – an operation, darling, and – considering I was already worried that something was wrong, you might at least have let me worry over a reasonable cause!"

"I know you would have wanted to help," Mary leaned towards him, "but that's exactly my point, don't you see? There was nothing you _could_ have done to help, the doctors were perfectly capable, and you would only have been frustrated. And I thought, if it could all be fixed without troubling you–"

"Did it not occur to you that I might _want_ to be troubled by it, Mary? By – your wellbeing, your health, especially if it affects – _us_?"

His voice rose helplessly, and Mary rose to soothe him, moving from her vanity to his lap as she took his face in her hands.

"Darling," she hushed, "I was trying to protect _us_! You know you would have fussed over me, and I would only have been frustrated and it would have made it all so terribly difficult–"

He swallowed, trying to calm himself, allowing his eyes to close as he focussed on the familiar feel of her fingers stroking through his hair. But it was hard.

Stiffly, he replied, "So instead you let me believe that you were turning me away for – goodness knows why! Was that easier, Mary? Didn't you think – for a moment," he gasped, hands instinctively flexing at her waist, "that I would have understood, if you needed the rest for your health and comfort?"

"Oh, Matthew…"

She frowned, and their lips met in a brief, searching kiss, because they needed to find each other once more. She kissed him again, treasuring the slightness of the intimacy, as their foreheads leaned together. "It seemed… impossible to speak of," she murmured softly. Shifting back in his lap, her eyes opened to meet his, and she raised a knowing eyebrow. "You of all people know how difficult it is for such… intimate matters to be under scrutiny. And I know that you and I have shared everything, but I simply couldn't bear one more person to know, and to worry for me. Even you, my darling."

Her words hit their chord, and Matthew softened, his arms settling more snugly around her waist.

"Of course I appreciate that," he sighed. "But as much as you couldn't bear one more person - even me – to know, I can't bear the thought that you were beside me and in any discomfort and pain. And besides that, darling, you… looked after me. I'd have… liked the chance to have offered you the same, in what little way I could."

He smiled faintly, at last, and it was all Mary could do to kiss him, in the softest, most delicate gesture of appreciation.

"Darling, you mustn't think of that," she whispered against his lips. "It's done, and I'm perfectly alright, and let that please be the end of it. I do… love you," she smiled, and kissed him again. "So very, very much."

Matthew's gentle chuckle warmed her to her toes, and his hands began to move across her back in the barest caress.

"And I love you, so very, very much, too…"

Their kiss deepened slowly, and naturally, as if all their misunderstandings might be lost within it, until Mary pulled gently back. Her fingers teased over his soft lips, as his clear blue eyes searched hers in trust.

"Did you really think I'd gone off you?" she wondered, her voice lilting with affection.

He blushed. "I… did wonder, I admit. I thought the newly-wed shine had simply worn off, and… you were tired of me, perhaps." His bashful smile showed how wrong he knew he was, and it cheered Mary to see.

She smiled brilliantly. "How could I possibly be, when…" But she hardly needed to say the rest, which was fortunate as the words were lost in the passionate claim of his mouth against hers.

Their openness heightened their intimacy, and they felt suddenly as if all was possible. And… for the first time in weeks, months, even, they _knew_ that at last… all _was_ possible. Everything they had dreamed. And the realisation was intoxicating.

"Darling I hate to be presumptive but," Matthew gasped breathlessly against his wife's kiss as she writhed in his lap, "Does this mean… If you're sure you're quite alright, can we…"

She settled more provocatively against him, hands working to ease off his dressing gown even as she answered him, in snatched words through eager kisses.

"Only if you're… gentle with me, darling… More's the pity…"

**Fin **

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A/N: _Thanks so much for reading, I'd love to know what you thought!_


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